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Ballet audience jerks

I’ve had season tickets to both City Ballet and ABT for a few seasons now, and yet I am still amazed by the number of full grown adults who don’t know how, or just don’t care, to behave in the theater.

There are the Late Comers. Sorry, if the show has already started you should wait till intermission to find your seat.


There are the Talkers. People will just sit there happily chatting away during the performance. How is it that someone reaches adulthood and doesn’t understand that you do not talk at the theater? You get a stern look, a “please be quiet”, then a “shut the fuck up”.

There are the Eaters. You do not bring food into the theater. There are signs. If you seriously can’t go 40-60 minutes without eating, the theater is not for you. And for fucks sake if you need cough drops, UNWRAP THEM BEFORE THE SHOW STARTS.


There are the Texters. Turn your fucking phones off assholes.

The people doing this stuff are middle aged professional types, all older than me by at least a decade. But, I wind up feeling like an old woman shushing little kids. The actual little kids I’ve been seated next to have all been perfectly behaved. What in the lives of these people has led them to believe that their behavior is okay?

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